OK, perhaps we’re being a little over-dramatic. But, you will get a little side-eye and perhaps some friendly ribbing on the next shop ride.
From proper sock height to the unspoken rules of the road, these are the ABCs of cycling.
A is for aero.
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And especially the aero tuck when descending like a pro.
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Your Next RideB is for bib shorts.
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Like a warm embrace that lasts just a little too long.
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Your Next Ride
E is for eight.
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The only acceptable number of safety pins when attaching your race number to your jersey. And remember, never pin through the holes.
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Your Next RideF is for flats.
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An inevitable occurrence and one for which you must always, always be prepared.
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Your Next RideG is for Garmin.
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How else will you know how far, how fast or how many watts?
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Your Next RideH is for heart rate.
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As in, that number you see insanely spiking as you climb a 12 percent grade.
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Your Next RideI is for interval training.
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Full gas start to finish, then recover and do it again. How else will you get faster?
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Your Next RideJ is for juniors.
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The next generation (or your biggest obstacle in a mixed field). *eye roll*
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Your Next RideK is for KOM.
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And QOM, of course. Now get back to chasing down that segment.
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Your Next RideL is for La Course.
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And the hopes that ASO will finally give the women a multi-stage race.
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Your Next Ride
N is for N +1.
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Otherwise known as the equation used to derive the correct number of bikes to own.
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Your Next RideO is for offseason.
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AKA time well-spent in the pain cave. At least now we have Zwift, right??
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Your Next RideP is for psi.
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It's printed on the freaking tire, after all. No excuses.
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Your Next RideQ is for questioning the actions of drivers.
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We're not talking about being agro a la Portlandia's Spyke, but you should always question whether you're seen.
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Your Next RideR is for rally.
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When you're itching for new scenery and fully supported rest stops.
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Your Next RideS is for sock doping.
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Socks can be any color you like, but must match (or complement) your kit. And never, ever wear ankle socks.
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Your Next Ride
U is for UV protection.
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Never forget the backs of your ears and your neck (or beware the painful consequences).
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Your Next RideV is for velodrome.
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Or 42-degree walls of death, as we like to think of them.
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Your Next Ride
X is for X-training.
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Gasp! Turns out you really can make gains while off the bike.
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Your Next RideY is for yellow jersey.
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And the ever-dwindling number of those who actually retain their TdF title in the record books (looking at you, Froome).
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Your Next RideZ is for ZZZs.
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Sleep is the best form of recovery (other than a post-ride pint). Let your body's restorative system get to work, and you'll be surprised at the results.
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